How to get over a break up

The only thing that is permanent in this world is change, and the sooner we realize that, the better off we will be. When it comes to relationships, most of us would rather have a happy ever after story; and, why not? That is one of the mysteries of human nature. We all yearn for love and acceptance, and we never want it to end.

However, we also know that sometimes, a relationship has to come to a close. Never mind the reasons – there are things that we may have control over, and there are things that we simply cannot influence. When you experience a break up, your world may seem to crash all around you. Your life may seem to be hopeless and useless.

That’s all temporary, however, and the only thing that you can really do is to pick up the pieces and move on. This is easier said that done, that is true. Still, countless people have been doing the same thing over and over again since time began. Who says you cannot do the same?

To help you, here are some of the most effective ways to get over a break up.

Make the decision to get over it.

This is perhaps the most important thing that you can do in order to get over a break up. We will probably never know just how many people could have had moved on so much faster if only they had decided early on to move on. Clinging to the past is a tendency that many humans have, and while it may seem to be understandable, it can only do you more harm. The point is this: when you realize that your relationship is over, tell yourself that no matter how you may feel at this moment, you will do what it takes to help you move on.

Now this decision will probably not come in the first few months after the break up. Indeed, it could very well come in the last stages. Still, the knowledge that you will have to make this decision at one point will help you prepare yourself to make it when the time comes.

Get rid of the “evidence”!

So it’s over, is it? Why are your ex’s clothes still in the closet? Why are his things still in your apartment? More importantly, why are you still living in the same place you lived in together?

Perhaps you can’t do much about the last question – circumstances may vary from one person to another, but you definitely can get rid of other material things that remind you of your ex.

Oh, there is no going around it – you will always find things that remind you of your ex for a long time. There is no reason to make it more difficult for you to forget, though. Instead of leaving his things around you, where you can easily see them – throw them away, return them, or give them to charity.

It is hard to take the first step – sorting through the various items, but you will be surprised at how relieved you will eventually feel once you’ve gotten rid of the evidence.

Pamper yourself.

If you’re going through a break up, the last thing that you should do is let yourself go to waste. Yeah, for some people, they need time alone to mull on things, but this does not mean that you should forget about making yourself feel good. Ask yourself: what are the things that you really like doing?

Why don’t you book yourself a day at the spa? Even if you don’t feel like it right now, you will be refreshed and you will feel much better after you go through the whole thing.

Why not take it one step further and get a make over? Get your hair done, buy some new clothes, get a pedi and mani – the list can go on and on.

The idea is simple: take the time to sit back and relax and enjoy taking care of yourself. The chances are that when you were with your partner, you might have tended to overlook yourself. This is your chance to rectify things, and help yourself focus on what matters right now: you!

Listen to music that inspires you.

Anyone who has been heartbroken would know that every time you hear a sappy song or a song for the heartbroken, you will feel as if the singer were singing directly to you. Music is such a powerful thing – it can affect your emotions so much, that before you know it, you can either feel even more depressed OR you can feel quite happy.

The trick is in avoiding listening to music that will encourage you to wallow in your pain and loneliness. There is no denying that you will feel a lot of these negative emotions in the ensuing months, but how you deal with those emotions is totally up to you.

If you really want to get over your break up, make it a point to pick music that will make you feel positive and strong enough to deal with things. Don’t fall into the temptation of wallowing for an extended period of time.

Find a cause.

Once you have pampered yourself to death – probably with an astronomical credit card bill to boot – it’s time to shift the focus. This point will come months (maybe years for some) after your break up. You will experience ups and downs like you’ve never had before. However, you will know that after months of focusing on yourself, it is time to try and do something else.

What I have found very effective is to find a cause to identify with. It can be of any nature really. Some people find being involved in church activities very helpful. Others find a charity where they can volunteer their time. It really depends on your personality and belief system.

The important thing is that you shift the focus from yourself to others. Helping others will give you a sense of self-fulfillment that cannot be measured.

So there you have some of the most effective tips that can help you get through this tough time in your life. Remember, you can read all you want about getting over your break up; but at the end of the day, it is within yourself that you will have to struggle and deal with the situation. And, that is your greatest strength of all.