Before you can love someone else, you must know how to love yourself first.

Tips on How to Love Yourself

The European Journal » Tips on How to Love Yourself

How to Love Yourself

Before you can love someone else, you must know how to love yourself first. Many people are lacking in self-love, sometimes because of a bad experience in the past. It can be difficult to have self-love, but there are a few steps that can help you move in the right direction, and regain the self-love that you deserve:

1. Accept yourself. Nobody is completely perfect. We all have strengths, weaknesses, successes and failures. Even though there are probably things about yourself that you aren’t quite happy with, be willing to love yourself anyway.

It’s fine to admit that you aren’t flawless, but also accept that your positives outweigh your flaws, and that the world really is a better place because you’re a part of it. It’s ok if you want to change or improve some things about yourself, but don’t let that stop you accepting who you are right now.

2. Don’t criticize yourself. If you tend to criticise yourself often, make a serious effort to stop it. It might be difficult, especially if it’s something that you have been doing for years, but it has to be stopped.

Being critical about yourself is extremely counter-productive, and will only make it harder to love yourself and re-build your self-esteem. If you catch yourself thinking something critical, immediately think of something complimentary about yourself, and say that instead.

3. Set goals and work towards them. Set achievable targets for things that you would like to do by the end of the week, the end of the month, or the end of the year. They don’t need to be huge accomplishments, just things that you would feel happy and proud to do.

It could be something like going for a bushwalk, reading a book on a topic that interests you, or making time to get together with friends.

4. Let go of the past. Most of us have had a hurtful or traumatic experience in our past, some situation that caused us pain that we just can’t seem get rid of. You mustn’t let your past hold back your present though.

This is a new day, and it is your day, and yours alone. Learn whatever lesson needs to be learned from the experience, but then be prepared to move on. No matter what your past was like, know that your future is going to be beautiful.

5. Accept compliments. When someone pays you a compliment, you don’t have to do anything other than just say thank you. Don’t deny the compliment. Don’t point out why it’s not really true. Don’t assume that they are “just saying that’. If someone pays you a compliment, accept that you deserve it!

6. Believe in yourself. You have the ability to make any changes in your life that you want to make. If you set your heart and mind towards a goal, then you know that you are going to achieve it. Trust that you have the ability, the determination, and the strength of spirit to make the changes you desire.

Be confident that you will receive all the happiness and success that your new direction in life entitles you to.

7. Be honest. This means being honest to yourself, as well as with others. Love can only exist where there is truth, acceptance, and understanding. If you feel happy, acknowledge and embrace that emotion. If you are feeling sad, accept that feeling too, but know that the feeling will soon pass.

Don’t try to deny your emotions. Let them be felt, even when you are hurting, because only once you accept how you really feel can you start the process of healing.

8. Create affirmations. Positive affirmations build your self-esteem. Your mind is an amazing and extremely loyal friend, it will believe whatever you tell it to believe. Try an affirmation such as “I have love and respect for myself, because I am a good and positive person.” Read your affirmations out loud everyday, or even a few times a day. You will start to notice the difference almost immediately.

9. Make a list of your attributes. Are you a considerate person? Are you good with kids? Are you well read? Are you generous? Artistic? Smart? Creative? Do you do your job well? Are you trustworthy? Do you have nice hair? A friendly smile? Interesting stories?

Make a list of all the things that are good and nice and lovable about you. Get a close friend to help if you have any trouble. Don’t stop until you get a list of at least 10 things that make you feel good about yourself.

10. Help someone else. Helping someone else can build your confidence and your love for yourself. You can volunteer at a community group, at a church bake sale, at your kids’ school, anywhere that you can lend a hand.

It doesn’t even need to be something formal; if you have a friend that is having some trouble at work, be willing to listen and support them.

Even something as simple as being a friend that they can talk to can make a huge difference to somebody’s life.

11. Be thankful. Develop a sense of gratitude for the wonderful gifts that you have in this life. Be happy and grateful that you are such an amazing person with many strengths, and that you have the opportunity to live your life in any way you desire, and the freedom to choose any life direction you want.

12 Learn something new. When you learn something new, it makes you feel smarter, and therefore stronger and more confident. Read improving literature. Do that course you have been thinking about. Watch a documentary on a subject you have interest in. Improving your mind is a great way to improve self-esteem.

13. Do something fun. Life is a game to be enjoyed, not a chore to be endured. Find something that you like to do, and just do it! Go to a concert, play a board game with some friends, sing a song out loud, watch a really silly movie about a talking dog. It doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as it’s something fun.

14. Take Care Of Your Health. It has often been said that your body is a temple, and therefore you should treat it with love and respect. Eat healthy and nutritious foods, get some exercise to keep yourself strong, and make sure you get enough sleep so that you feel refreshed.

If your body is in good working order, it will help make every other aspect of your life work properly too.

Always remember that you are a truly lovable person, who deserves to be treated with kindness and compassion. Here is a Love Quote from someone who definitely knows what she was talking about:

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”

– Lucille Ball