Modern dating and changing attitudes towards relationships means that dating in 2020 can be somewhat of a minefield. With casual dating the norm nowadays, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line between casual and actual dating and work out the signs he does not want a relationship with you.
In fact, the mixed signals and uncertainty of casual dating can actually dampen your interest in the people you meet. And this can lead to feelings of being led on and taken for granted, which don’t make for a good foundation for a relationship.
If you’re looking for something more than a casual fling, you need to make that clear to the guy you’re dating. And if you don’t, or already find yourself in dating limbo, you need to watch out for these signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?
He does it because he can
It’s a hard pill to swallow, but the main reason for keeping you around if he doesn’t want a relationship is clear. It’s because he simply can. And if you allow it to go on, you’ll find yourself in a situationship. This is a no-mans-land for relationships and is bound to become messy and painful for you.
Failing to establish boundaries about what you want from him and what behaviour you will accept can be the culprit here. We’ve all heard the expression, “give them an inch and they’ll take a mile”, right? Well, this is exactly what will happen if you don’t make it clear what you want from your man. Unless you take action, he will think he can treat you however he wants, including not committing to a relationship.
And this leads us to the next reason that he’ll keep you around despite not wanting a relationship: boredom.
Many of us are afraid to be alone. So afraid that we’ll entertain and even pursue people that we either aren’t compatible with or who treat us badly. If he keeps you around but doesn’t want to be in a relationship, you’re his convenient choice. He’s bored and would prefer to have someone to keep him busy rather than tell you the truth and let you go.
When a man really loves you, he will show you. And he won’t want you to feel like you’re second fiddle or a way to pass the time.
He’s only interested in one thing
This is how to tell if he likes you or just wants a fling. If you have great sexual chemistry but find after you’ve done the deed the flame goes out, you’re only good for one thing. The harsh reality is that great sex doesn’t always equal a great connection. So, if he’s only interested in spending time “in bed” with you – that’s one of the biggest signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
He’s scared to hurt your feelings
If your guy keeps you around but doesn’t want a relationship, he may be trying to delay the inevitable. If he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, he could be playing the long game in the hopes that you’ll end things.
How do you know he doesn’t want a relationship? Top signs to look for
His actions will show you better than words. Anyone can talk a good game but you need to pay attention to his actions when it comes to you and your relationship. Here are the 5 clear signs he doesn’t want a relationship.
He doesn’t talk about the future
If he is reluctant to speak about the future and make any long term plans with you, he probably doesn’t want a relationship. This can be in regards to short term plans such as holidays and bigger life plans and goals such as moving cities. If things are going to last between you, then you need to be considered in his future.
The bottom line is, if you aren’t going to be a part of his future, you’re wasting your time in the present.
You haven’t met his inner circle
When we are in love, it’s natural to introduce our significant other to the other important people in our lives. This way we can integrate the different parts of our lives, plus you get to show off your significant other to the whole world.
If he hasn’t introduced you to his friends or family yet, this is a huge sign that he isn’t interested in having a relationship with you. Wanting to keep you and your relationship separate from the rest of his life shows that he’s not invested in you in the long term.
You haven’t had the exclusivity talk yet
If your relationship doesn’t have a label yet, you need to get one real quick. And if you’ve brought it up and he told you he didn’t want to put pressure on your relationship, it’s an excuse to not commit. At the end of the day, if a man really loves you then he wouldn’t be scared of a label. He also wouldn’t leave you hanging or feeling unsure if he truly wanted a relationship with you.
For those of you who are casually dating, once you’re sure that you want to take things to the next level, you should. Communicate as clearly as you can and make your intentions clear. If they don’t reciprocate, then at least you won’t be messed around or led on.
He’s emotionally unavailable
If he doesn’t open up to you, it’s not because he’s a brooding bad boy who needs coaxing out of his shell. The cold truth is he doesn’t want a relationship with you or doesn’t feel a strong enough connection to open up to you.
Any successful relationship needs to have emotional reciprocity. And him being emotionally unavailable only hurts you both. So if he refuses to speak about his emotions, or doesn’t give you the emotional support you need, take the hint. It’s not your responsibility to fix him, and quite frankly you deserve better. Take this as a sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you and move on!
He only sees you on the weekend or late at night
Notice when you spend time together. What days or times. And if most (or all) of your meetups happen on the weekends or late at night – you are a booty call. You only come into his mind when he’s bored, horny or both.
The late-night or spontaneous meetups ultimately prove that you aren’t a priority for him. And that isn’t a relationship, it’s a hookup.
If your new man shows any of these signs, maybe it’s time to give up and accept that he’s just not into you.
There you have it folks! Top signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Hope you don’t notice any of these in your partner!
Kay is in her 50′s, is divorced with grown sons, and has been back in the dating game for 5 years. She’s met a surprising assortment of men from online dating sites, many of whom were very nice but just not right for her. Some remain friends. She now refuses to meet anyone at Starbucks