How to love can sometimes be simple to learn, and sometimes difficult. Loving someone deeply is one of the most intense and exciting experiences that a person can have however. Before we move on to the steps of how to love, here is a love quote:
“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.”George Sand
How to Love
1. Love unconditionally. The truest, deepest love is given freely, without any limitations. If you try to put stipulations on your love, then it hinders your ability to love completely.
If you say, “Well, I love him, but unless he takes me on a holiday soon, then I will stop loving him”, you contaminate the purity of your love. It is best to love for love’s sake; you should need no other reason than that.
2. Communicate. Communication is the conduit through which love travels. If a couple can communicate openly and honestly with each other, then happiness and love with thrive. There is no limit to the joy that two people can have together if communication is freely given and received. As long as you talk and listen in a relationship, you will be able to resolve any issue that arises.
3. Make love your priority. Love is greatest when it is important to both people. Don’t ever let your love take second place to any other aspect of life. If love is to flourish it must be more important than your job, more important than money, more important than anything else.
Spend time with the person you love, plan things together, do things together. Sometimes work or study can start to get in the way of love, but don’t let that happen! Make sure that no matter what else is going on in your life, you still make time for love.
4. Be appreciative. Don’t take your love for granted. Every day you should be thankful that you are with such an incredible and wonderful person, and they should have plenty of reason to be thankful too. Make appreciation a practise.
Real love can be hard to find, and you should always be grateful that the two of you are able to bring such happiness to each other.
5. Show your love. Make sure your partner knows how much you love them. Tell them that their joy is your joy. If your lover is upset for any reason, spend time listening to them, and be willing to help in any way you can. Never let there be any doubt about how much you care for and adore each other.
6. Support each other. Where there is love between two people, then those two people are one. Their happiness is your happiness, and their struggles are your struggles too. Any difficulties are halved, and any joys are doubled. Support the one you love and the good times will assuredly outweigh the bad.
7. Tell them you love them. It’s not enough to say, “well they know how I feel”. You need to say the words, and they need to hear them. Here is another love quote:
“I like not only to be loved,
But to be told I am loved.”T.S. Eliot
8. Forgive. None of us are perfect. Love will not stop mistakes from being made occasionally. Sometimes your lover will make a mistake, sometimes you will, and sometimes you both will. If you are willing to forgive one another however, any mistakes should not be able to tarnish your love. We all have some flaws, but love allows us to see past them.
9. Be romantic. Romance is one of the most fun and exciting parts of being in love. Never let the romance be forgotten. Make sure that you still surprise your boyfriend or girlfriend with loving notes, nice dinners, flowers, picnics in the park. . . things that let your partner know how much you love them, and how happy you are to be with them.
10. Don’t argue needlessly. It’s normal for disagreements to occur in any relationship. When they do occur however, it’s important not to fight just for the sake of fighting. If there is an issue that needs to be discussed, then by all means discuss it, but don’t make it a competition that one of you will win and one of you will lose.
If you feel angry or hurt, try not to say things that you don’t mean. The goal should be to resolve the situation, not to get them to admit they were wrong. Stay focussed what the actual problem is, and work together to fix it. If you can focus on finding a solution rather than causing confrontation, you should be able to keep fights to a minimum, and love at a maximum.
11. Love and respect yourself also. Love and respect for another person can only be complete if that person has first experienced those emotions within themself. If two people share a relationship based on those qualities their partnership will endure.
To that end, do nothing that would make you lose your self-respect. Treat people well, and do not tolerate being treated badly yourself. Embrace who you are, and you will find it much easier to embrace the person you love.
12. Don’t get jealous. Love is based on trust. If you become jealous when your lover talks someone of the opposite sex, it shows a lack of trust. It’s not good enough to say, “Well I trust her, it’s that guy that I don’t trust”.
That’s still jealousy, and it still shows that you worry about your lover jumping into bed with anyone who pays them a compliment. Jealousy has no place in a relationship based on love and mutual respect. Period.
13. Never stop loving. Sometimes when you have been hurt by love it can make you cautious about loving freely in the future. Love can sometimes cause pain, and it’s natural to want to avoid that pain. If you stop loving however, you will only end up with a different type of pain called loneliness.
You will also miss out on all the amazing joys that love has to offer. Even if you have been hurt before you should not stop loving. Be willing to take the chance again.
It is not always easy to love, but when you do love someone who loves you back, there is no greater joy in the world.
Kay is in her 50′s, is divorced with grown sons, and has been back in the dating game for 5 years. She’s met a surprising assortment of men from online dating sites, many of whom were very nice but just not right for her. Some remain friends. She now refuses to meet anyone at Starbucks