It is often said that the things that you need to do to please a man are countable. You can name them, but the list for pleasing a woman is endless. We are pretty sure you have seen that list on your virtual strolls through the internet.
It’s quite a long list, and from the feedback you get from mostly female readers, they agree that women are indeed not the easiest of people to please. As they go through that list, most women would likely nod and agree to all the points and ways that a man can meet their needs, emotionally, physically and other ways that she thinks up.
Sometimes, she might communicate those needs verbally, and at other times, she simply expects her man to know those things she wants. Lest you fail to read her mind well, and she starts to act out on you, we have compiled a list of five things that your lady wants from you, but is not telling you.
1. Women want a man who’s conscious of their needs
Awareness isn’t simply about remembering your anniversary, or bringing home chocolate every now and then. Awareness in a relationship means so much more than that.
This is about noticing when she always packs her lunch, and those of the kids (if you have children), and packing it for her. It’s about knowing that Wednesdays are staff meeting days, and her boss is usually hard on her, and asking her how the day went before she volunteers it.
Before you think you need to be a mind reader to do this, forget it! This is about having an ongoing conversation with her about what’s going on in her life, from where you will glean all these gems that will ultimately make your life easier in the long run. It’s about knowing her preferences, and moving accordingly, without her having to ask.
2. Women want a spouse they can trust completely
Men, your lady wants a man she shouldn’t have to worry about who he is texting at night, or if he is going to be overly flirty at the office holiday party. A woman wants the security of knowing her spouse is fully committed to remaining faithful.
According to co-author of Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage, Elizabeth Schmitz, “To be truly in love is to be unequivocally and unconditionally dedicated to the one you love,” she said. “Women in happy relationships describe the one they love with words and expressions like trust, honesty and loyalty.
They feel confident that their spouse will never let them down or lie. No matter what. Sometimes, this trust is based on past actions of their love interest, but most times, because it’s what women in love do. It is now in your court to know what to do with the trust you have been given.”
Should you ever break that trust, you can be assured of the fact that it will take a long time to recover from it, and forge another bond with her. It is as simple as that.
3. Women want their spouses to help out with the kids, without being asked
If you are married, this might be something you want to pay really close attention to. Your child’s maths assignment isn’t going to get done without some parental effort, you can be that parental effort at times, instead of saying “Mom is going to help you do it.”
“Wives want their spouses to be just as willing to help with their kids’ day-to-day needs as they are”, said Vikki Stark, a psychotherapist
“A while ago, I went to a conference about couples’ therapy and the speaker made a point that was so right-on that the whole audience burst into laughter,” Stark recalled. She said “What women really want is for their husbands to help the kids with their homework in a kind and patient way. There’s another word for that — it’s called ‘foreplay!‘
The truth is, nothing melts a woman’s heart more than seeing her husband take a sincere interest in elementary math questions without shouting the whole house down.” All a woman thinks at such times is,
my husband is sexy” and guess what? You will be rewarded!
4. Women want men to listen, not solve problems
Some time ago, Sola, a member of our forum, had complained about this very subject matter. “When I’m talking to my boyfriend about something, all I can see is his mind churning and I can almost determine to the minutest second when he will start proffering me solutions. He does not realise that sometimes, I just want to think, I have a mind too, I can think up solutions to whatever challenges comes my path, but he just wants to act superman every time and that is plainly irritating.” How do I get him to stop?”
Well the advice hasn’t changed. Sit him down, and have a chat, tell him you don’t want a superman, a listening ear will be just great.
When your wife regales you with the latest drama at work, or an ongoing problem with a family member, sit back, listen and make appropriate prompting sounds. Your instinct may be to jump in and try to help (most men are like that), but she likely just wants you to be her sounding board.
Before you jump in, next time, have it at the back of your mind that talking things through helps women think and solve challenges, so if men can just hold their horses a bit, everything will be fine.
5. Women want approval to be imperfect
In the grandstands of life, you should be your partner’s biggest cheerleader. If you notice her falling apart even just a little, encourage her and remind her that you are always there to fall back on, and hold her down for a while, if that’s what she wants
When things just fail to work and your partner is weak, cut her some slack and let her know that you get it. That she does not have to prove anything to you. Validate how hard she works and let her know that it’s alright for her, or anyone for that matter to lose it from time to time.
We are very sure that you agree that these needs of women are great, and that if such needs are met in a relationship, then that relationship can only grow stronger.
However, a close look will reveal that men too have these same needs, and would be glad if they are met. So lady, know that your man would not mind being treated the same way you would be like to be treated.
Let’s spread the love and strengthen our relationships.
Lisa is the editor of European Journal, and always makes time for everyone and lightens up lives with her presence.
When she finds time to write she writes about what she truly loves, and you guessed it, its people and relationships.